The Ex.

Sometimes memories are so difficult to be erased. Sometimes, our parents are right... Watch who you meet, cause' the next thing you know they might just be the person who ruins your life.
Roughly 2 years ago I fell in love with a horrible person. To me this person was everything, he was my priority, everything I believed in and also my worst nightmare. Two years ago I looked up to him, now he's pitiful. He might be happier now, a lot happier ? Is he? Well I hope he's happy he ruined my love life and my perception of it. I wanted to be his everything, but who would have guessed that something that felt so real would fall apart so quickly. A few months back I saw an updated pic of him and his current girlfriend... She's wearing the t-shirt that I had paid for because he said he loved it. It's already sad when you wear the old clothes that your ex buys you, but it's just extremely depressing when you let your new girlfriend wear it in a public picture. Sometimes memories are so out of your own reach... Something you simply cannot control, but I wish they didn't exist because he tainted me. Till this day I still suffer from the side effects of this horrible memory, leading to continuous mis-trust, ruining my new relationship, placing perceptions on new boyfriends that they will be like the old one, ITS HORRIBLE, sometimes I just want to scream and run really far until I'm out of breath and just cry and cry till the sun sets and wonder, what was it? What happened to me? How did it happen? Telling myself to just DROP IT, and hoping that it would be as simple as those 2 words. It's just absolutely horrible. Some people will say that it's dramatic, overly dramatic... But you won't ever ever know until you've encountered something so evil, some ONE so evil. You wish that the worst would happen to him, you wish that you could just dig your way back to his heart and shatter it like how he shattered yours, you wish the WORST for the girl that he is proven happy with right now, but your morals, where are your morals??? You just feel like you cannot sink to his level in terms of a death wish, in fact, even though you will feel sick to your stomach, you wish him all the best, but that you WILL be better, simply because he cannot be as happy because he is no longer in control of our heart.